Are your relationships with your boss, co-workers, or employees headed toward a divorce? We don’t usually enter into our relationships with our customers or coworkers with the same commitment required for a healthy marriage, but this episode of By Your Life asks if perhaps we should.
Mass Readings Audio
http://ccc.usccb.org/cccradio/NABPodcasts/18_10_07.mp3
Twenty-seventh Sunday in Ordinary Time – October 7, 2018
Welcome to the twenty-eighth episode of By Your Life. Thank you for joining me. If you haven’t already, please subscribe via iTunes, Stitcher, or on the right side of the page so I can send you notifications when each new episode is posted. And please forward to a friend you think would benefit from By Your Life.
My goal is to inspire, empower, support, challenge, and encourage you to connect Sunday, with Monday-Friday, in a secular, business world. It is my desire to help you live our Catholic faith in the marketplace, and to trust that it is good for business. I hope to offer you practical ways to go forth and glorify the Lord by your life.
In this edition, we will reflect on the readings for the Twenty-seventh Sunday in Ordinary Time. The first reading from the Book of Genesis (Gn 2:18-24) and Mark’s Gospel (Mk 10:2-16) share the familiar message about men and women and marriage. In teaching about divorce, Jesus quotes Genesis when he says, “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two of them become one flesh.” (Mk 10:7-8 and Gn 2:24)
According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, man and woman have been created, in the image and likeness of God, in perfect equality as human persons, and they possess an inalienable dignity which comes to them from God their Creator. Man and woman were created in a state of marriage, and God willed each for the other, sharing in the same humanity. This partnership of man and woman constitutes the first form of communion of persons.
In considering the application of this Scripture passage to our work lives, I’d like to reflect on the beginning of the first reading. “The LORD God said: “It is not good for the man to be alone.” (Gn 2:18)
The Lord, who is love and goodness itself, said: “It is not good for man to be alone.” This is a very important point. By his inmost nature, man is a social being and unless he relates himself to others, he can neither live nor develop his potential. (Gaudium et Spes Ch 1 ¶ 12 § 4)
Because we are made in the image and likeness of God, we are made for community. Without community, individually we cannot fulfill our potential and we cannot be brought to perfection. It is the other person who helps us see ourselves as other and it is the other whom we are here to serve. It is the other who brings us out of our self. It is other that allows us to love, as God loves us.
While marriage and family are the first communities, this concept is easily extended to our life at work. In fact, work is part our human dignity because as the creation story continues, we know that God placed man and woman in the garden “to till and keep it.” Work is not a burden, but a collaboration of man and woman with God in perfecting the visible creation. (CCC 369-378)
Every business, every organization is a community of persons who come together for the purpose of serving other people. We create better outcomes when we have others with whom we can collaborate. As Oliver Wendell Holmes said, “Many ideas grow better when transplanted into another mind than in the one where they sprang up.”
“Many ideas grow better when transplanted into another mind than in the one where they sprang up.” ~ Oliver Wendell HolmesHow well man does this is dependent on how well man develops relationships with others. We don’t usually enter into our relationships with our customers or coworkers with the same commitment required for a healthy marriage, but perhaps we should try to come close. In episode 004 Good Shepherd, Great Leader, I mentioned a technology company called Next Jump that was founded by its current Co-CEO, Charlie Kim. I first heard about this company in a TED talk by Simon Sinek and subsequently started researching who they are. Look them up. I bet you’ll be as surprised as I was.
While there is a lot you can say about Next Jump and its culture, the one point that I find amazing is that when they make a hire, they hire with the intention to keep the employee for life. You cannot get fired from Next Jump for performance issues. They make a commitment to their employees that approaches the marriage commitment we hear repeated in this week’s scripture readings. As a company, they are committed to do everything they can to help their employees grow and develop so they can succeed. Their motto is Better Me + Better You = Better Us.
Harvard researchers highlighted Next Jump as a company that has built their culture to support the development of all of their people, every day. They’ve done such a good job at this that in addition to Harvard, they have been recognized by McKinsey and Cornell for their culture of high performance and coaching techniques for both individuals and team leaders.
Even though Next Jump has a culture of high performance, not everyone is a fit for their culture, nor is Next Jump’s culture a fit for every organization so I’m not advocating copying how they implement. Rather, I’d like you to consider what it means to hire an employee for life. What would you have to do differently if you made this commitment? Or, what would you do differently if you went to work for a company and made a commitment to them for life?
For one thing, you’d likely do a better job of screening candidate/company before making the commitment. Just like not every couple is a perfect fit for each other in a marriage, not every person is a perfect fit for joining every company. In marriage, both partners need to make sure they share the commitment of growing, developing and helping each other to become the-best-version-of-themselves, as Matthew Kelly would say, before entering into marriage.
In business, both company and employee need to seriously undertake a mutual evaluation that ensures shared core beliefs, commitment to the vision, and an opportunity for the individual’s gifts and talents to be put to work for the benefit of the company’s mission. Both in marriage and in business, this requires honest discovery of whether there is a shared vision, shared values, and shared commitment to work together before they engage and a daily re-commitment thereafter.
A daily re-commitment means it takes work and it involves a daily reaffirmation of the shared vision and values that brought you together. The great coach Vince Lombardi said, “Individual commitment to a group effort – that is what makes a team work, a company work, a society work, a civilization work.”
“Individual commitment to a group effort – that is what makes a team work, a company work, a society work, a civilization work.” ~ Vince LombardiThis all sounds good, but just like marriages, it often breaks down in the workplace because the parties involved are more focused on what they are getting out of the relationship than what they are giving to it.
I am always telling my clients that their #1 job as a leader is to develop their people. The process is not only good for the employees, it is good for the leaders too! German writer and statesman Johann Wolfgang von Goethe said, “Treat a man as he is, and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he can and should be and he will become as he can and should be.” Just think how much more productive your team would be if each person became the person they are capable of becoming?
“Treat a man as he is, and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he can and should be and he will become as he can and should be.” ~ Johann Wolfgang von GoetheBut, a lot of managers think that their employees should just do what is expected and they shouldn’t have to be recognized for doing their job. This isn’t an unreasonable expectation except that we are talking about human beings. Sometimes it is nice to know you are appreciated. It is like this in marriages too. One spouse is responsible for doing the dishes, the other mows the lawn. A little “thanks honey for doing that” goes a long way to maintain a healthy relationship.
I had one client complain to me about how frustrated he was that his employees failed to demonstrate a strong work ethic. We hear this a lot and it is associated with a belief that some people have an “entitlement mentality.” The thing is, my client had an entitlement mentality of his own. He felt that he was entitled to the employee’s 100% effort simply because he paid his paycheck, never mind the working conditions that were difficult at best and toxic at the worst. He wasn’t doing his part to create an environment where the employees could give him 100%.
So, what can and should an employer do? There are a lot of different models that have led to success for different companies. Next Jump has their approach. But one model that is validated by research and simple (but not necessarily easy) is from the Gallup organization. In their book, First, Break All The Rules: What the World’s Greatest Managers Do Differently, the Gallup organization presents the findings of their in-depth study of great managers. This research produced the 12 simple statement that distinguish the strongest departments of a company from all the rest. The 12 questions are an indication of employee engagement and they are:
1. Do I know what is expected of me at work?
2. Do I have the materials and equipment I need to do my work right?
3. At work, do I have the opportunity to do what I do best every day?
4. In the last seven days, have I received recognition or praise for good work?
5. Does my supervisor, or someone at work, seem to care about me as a person?
6. Is there someone at work who encourages my development?
7. At work, do my opinions seem to count?
8. Does the mission/purpose of my company make me feel like my work is important?
9. Are my co-workers committed to doing quality work?
10. Do I have a best friend at work?
11. In the last six months, have I talked with someone about my progress?
12. At work, have I had opportunities to learn and grow?
Notice, none of these questions are about pay. Most of these don’t cost a penny. All of them are about the basics of respect for the human person, their dignity, and the dignity of work itself. As a manager, ask yourself if your employees would answer “yes” to all these questions, and if not, you know where you can start to make changes.
Employees must do their part too. In the same way a marriage cannot thrive when only one partner is giving themselves completely, a successful business relationship needs both employer and employee to bring their all. As an employee, you have an obligation to do what it takes to bring your best self to work. You have to make a commitment to learn what you need to know to do your job better. You are not entitled to anything. You have to earn it.
I was in a meeting with several business owners and they were all complaining that they can’t find good employees. They all said they are willing to pay a higher than market wage. What were their biggest complaints?
Employees who don’t show up on time.
Employees who don’t show up at all.
Employees who don’t know how to treat their customers right.
Employees who don’t pay attention to detail.
These employers are not asking for anything outrageous. These things do not require a college degree. They are the basics and they reflect simple respect for the company and its customers.
Employers, employees, husbands, wives, we are all people, created in the image and likeness of God, to serve God and each other. In the second reading, the writer of Hebrews said, “He who consecrates and those who are being consecrated all have one origin.” (Heb 2:11) Imagine the difference if we considered this same one origin when we dealt with each other at home and at work.
Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of your faithful enkindle in them the fire of your love. Send forth your Spirit and they shall be created. And You shall renew the face of the earth.
May God bless you abundantly and may you glorify the Lord by your life. Amen
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